The heavy artillary comes out to play!

Whether as a direct result of my previous encounters or not, I found myself trying to find alternative routes to & from work. I seemed reluctant,... even scared to try my luck travelling the short distance through what I was now regarding as 'no mans land'! The introduction of the woodland creatures 'air force' had brought a new, more vicious slant to the battle. This was however adding a considerable amount of time onto my journey & meant that I had to face the daunting task of trying to negotiate my way up, (what can only be described when on my 50cc scooter, as a mountain) Richmond Hill! I would have to ensure that I was travelling at my top speed before I hit the hill or I had no chance of making it to the top! Milk floats were shooting past me as if boosted by a substantial input of nitrous oxide or rocket fuel, ques would build up behind me of disgruntled office workers trying to work their way through rush hour traffic to their daily grind! It was getting embarrassing, there was nothing for it, I was gonna have to over come my fear & try again!

So, a couple of weeks later (well I did say that these encounters had shaken me!) on a frosty June morning I decided to bite the bullet & attempt the journey once more! Most of the night before I could not sleep, I kept tossing & turning unable to settle down, the vision of that squirrel staring at me with that evil smile kept haunting me. I woke early & tried hard to get myself ready for the task ahead. I wrapped myself up warm in several layers of clothing, partially to protect myself from the elements but also as protection if things got rough! I took the long walk to the road & my waiting steed, (by this point my scooter had ceased to be a mere vehicle & adopted a more comoradic stance), we were as ready as we would ever be! We made good progress, the lights were good to us,... as if they sensed the task we were facing. There was an eerie quietness in Kingston mixed with a light mist that was hanging in the air as we made our way through those looming iron gates which herald the entrance to Richmond Park.

The mist thickened with in the park which gave it a much more 'Hammer Horror' feel to it, I kept telling myself "its all coincidence, nothings gonna happen". I made my choice of route, one that would take me past the most amount of car parks (I figured that this way was likely to be the most populated at this time) put my head down & started to edge my way along as quietly as I could on an over sized hairdryer on wheels! As my journey continued I saw no evidence of life at all, no humans walking their dogs, no woodland creatures foraging for food, not even a bird singing in the morning mist. The silence was deafening! I made good progress & as I rounded the third corner I was starting to think that all was gonna be well, I just had to get over the hill & I was on the home straight. This did mean however that I had to pass by the largest bit of open land in the park & I knew that the grass here was thicker than usual, this coupled with the pea soup mist that was still lingering made for ideal hiding areas. As I came up on this area I started to hear tapping sounds, sounds not dis-similar to morse code, they were out there! I sped up feeling my heart thumping in my chest, & as I did this I saw two brown antlers slowly rise out of the grass like the silent periscope of a submarine. In a split second the antlers had been followed by what looked like a giant mutated stag of some kind (obviously this is not strictly the truth but writers license & all!). It bounded towards me at amazing speed & a head on collision was looking inevitable! I quickly applied my breaks & screeched to a halt, the stag did the same, by now it was no more than 10 feet away. We stared at each other for what seemed like hours, me too frightened to move & the stag daring me to try it! It edge forwards,...I edged back. It edge forwards again,... again I countered with an edge back! This was looking like a stand off! I tried turning off my engine, perhaps the noise I was making was disturbing its beauty sleep (& my god did he need it!), still no movement, it just stared straight at me with cold piercing eyes! There was no way round it, I made a quick assessment of the situation I was in & my options. I was in a stand off with a wild stag at least twice my weight, there was no one around, I was trapped. I could try sitting it out & waiting for the stag to get bored, but what if he didn't get bored? I'd be stuck here for ages! If he came rushing towards me I could turn & drive away fast,... but I was on my scooter &, as I have already discussed, it does not do hills well! There was nothing for it I was gonna have to try edging towards it, make a stand & maybe he would be so over come with the audacity of my actions that he would flee with his tail between his legs! Needless to say that this last attempt didn't work & I ended up having to walk the scooter to the top of the hill & finding another way round the park!

This was another serious blow, & as before, on looking back I saw the lone silhouette of a squirrel watching me! There was nothing else for it, I was gonna have to start involving tactics!